think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
