dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
