i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I love how my cats smell like pot.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
