Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i think my cat just said my name.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
