ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
