so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
