Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
