You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
A bitchslap is in order.
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