8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
