U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
