Umm I'm too high to move.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
