trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
