her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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