remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
