We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
