Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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