im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
