Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
