Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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