so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We left the knife in your bed.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
