How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
