I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
