Your face is a jimmy john
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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