apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
