i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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