one two three fourrrrnication!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
