I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
