how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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