you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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