So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
