I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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