I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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