You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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