He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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