Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
