So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
