so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
