Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
operation have a gay friend backfired
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
