That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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