What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
