OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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