If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
