Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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