thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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