Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
