I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize