So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
