my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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