Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
