some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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