loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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