Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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