??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
